Inspiration, Inspiration here you come.
Helluuuur! Yes it has been forever and yes it does feel like I gave up on this blog but lets say so much has happen since I’ve last posted something and I am super exited to be back.
I’m here with many updates a gists for you guys.
Although this blog is starting to feel like a diary (ahaha it was never meant to be) I do feel like I should use it to express the way I feel.
It is super late (like 22:40 … yes this is late for me now. I’m older … I turned 20 on sunday heheh, happy birthday to me)
Actually like all my articles besides me talking completely freely, because this is how I talk in real life, I will be talking about motivation.
What is motivation ?
This is truly an existential question for me. Well according to the business dictionary it is internal and external factors that stimulate desire and energy in people to be continually interested and committed to a job, role or subject, in other words, to make an effort to attain a goal.
I’m sorry I had to play the “definition” card but I just had too.
I happen to be filled with motivation except that I don’t have the “continually interested” part. Sadly.
I can be continually exited about something for a whole month and sometimes more and then just “give up” when I feel like it’s not getting where I want it to go. I hate the worde “giving up” because to me that not actually what I’m doing.
This happens to be one of my biggest issues and I know I am capable of achieving so much more if I finally get ride of this terrible side of me.
Continuing on the motivation side, someone I happen to be strongly attached too told me some day that they would read my articles on my blog a year from it’s creation. When I would have enough articles. I did not understand at first but around 7 months after MISS BKO‘s official creation we were having a casual conversation and being my happy and “blurping” self I mentioned that I had stopped writing on my blog and here was the answer I got from that comment “Oh well I’m not surprised, you never finish anything you start”.
I thought maybe I wasn’t understanding the meaning of that sentence properly so I went ahead and asked “What do you mean?”. I obtained a similar and as hurtful answer “Well that’s why I didn’t want to read it at first I knew it wasn’t going to go far” … this made me realize many things about myself. “This friend of mine, doesn’t take me seriously and probably never did”.
They never believed in me from the start and this hurts twice because of the place this person has in my heart.
I kept this story in one corner of my head, waiting to find the right time to talk about it and after a rough day like the one I just had I decided that MISS BKO wasn’t just going to be a “teenage years thing”.
I take this blog seriously, as much as I take my readers seriously. Even if I was posting these articles for one person, this person matters, because of his support.
Maybe a year from now my friend will read this article and realize that they hurt me … or not, but for all I know, I am willing to work on myself in order to better myself.
My mum keeps repeating that when someone tells her that she’s not capable of something, she does everything in her power to prove them wrong, and this is what I will do.
I’m not saying that I will succeed on the first attempt or that this blog will be as successful as it should be or as I wish it to be, but trying makes a huge difference.
I would like to thank this friend for those words … it made a difference it my life and I truly hope that this article will make a difference in yours.
Don’t give up on your dreams and even if you feel like motivation is leaving your body, its never too late to keep trying or to start over ❤